NEW YORK – Alec Baldwin was spotted walking around Manhattan Wednesday with some dice and a bit of makeup.
With all his atypical-for-albany-guy demeanor, he swaggered toward me with bravado.
“You think I’m up here to talk about the media?” he exclaimed, interrupting us as we walked toward his limo.
I looked at his casual attire (for someone with a showbiz career) and he said, “I get a lot of people asking me what I’ll be wearing on the show when the midseason premieres at 10. Are you going to have you naked on the news?”
He mentioned that he “got run over” by a cab in the Midtown area Wednesday morning, saying the doors to the New York tabloid were blown off in his absence.
I said, “If I were a cab driver on Sixth Avenue at 12:01, I wouldn’t want to leave the phone number of your cable company.”
“I guess the media is being reflective,” Baldwin countered, looking at his phone. “I was just speaking to a woman, who had a gynecological visit, and she said, ‘Did you go to the Gynecological Orgasm hotel?’ “
I said that’s a ripoff of the subscription. She told him it was a cable network.
“Well, I don’t know about the gynecological, but I’m up for the media. I’m not happy about you checking my emails, but look, I’m coming up on a few years with the cable company and they’re going to have their name on me. I’m prepared to have them slap my butt and wink at me.”
The conversation moved on to the movie he’ll be in soon called “Rust.” Baldwin is co-starring with Matthew Broderick in the film about two fathers who come together to watch their sons play golf in a one-time event.
“I’m going to be doing a press conference before the movie opens,” Baldwin said, before correcting himself. “I hope I’m there.”
When I asked why he couldn’t just show up, he said, “I’m sorry, I’m not going to be able to fit it into my schedule.”
I asked how his personal time off would affect him the rest of the year. The actor pointed out that he’s almost entirely out of the spotlight with two daughters on the way.
“I don’t need any extra news,” he said. “I have the fattest fanny. I’ve got a big ol’ ass. And I don’t care about having eight suitcases and carry-ons and whatnot.”
Is he expecting someone to show up at the press conference?
“I hope not,” he said. “I guess if I see someone coming through the front door, I’ll wait for them to show up at my f—— dog poop stall and make fun of them for three hours. Maybe it will be the road manager. Why would I do that?”
The conversation abruptly ended when Baldwin asked if I had a “date for dinner” the next night.
“Lovely,” I replied.
The reality show in which Alec Baldwin will be starring apparently crashed and burned about as fast as something that shaped those sunglasses.
The movie and the guy that Baldwin is starring opposite are not, in fact, the same thing.
Once again, someone has taken out an ad for sleep deprivation pills on Twitter.
Twitter was quick to define the film — “Will Alec Baldwin eat a yardstick and duct tape this cat?” — as a cross between “Cats and Dogs” and “I Heart Huckabees.” The production company confirmed that the film is named “Rust.”
“It’s been pretty overblown by the press. It’s not as dark as it’s being portrayed,” director Roger Donaldson said. “It’s very lighthearted and very funny.”
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